Not For the Sensitive

While I write this I feel in a vulnerable state. I’m in my autumn, moving into my winter (aka the last phase of my cycle), meaning hormonal. As well as, tender because I just had the most amazing pleasure practice I could give myself. And even though it might be controversial, I would love to share my experience.

While I’m creating my coaching business, I’ve noticed how afraid I am! How the constructs of the world, the view of my family, friends and even strangers have formed my views. Here is my deep, dark truth: I’m terrified of receiving and having money, I’m terrified of being successful. And all of that make sense to me. Both money and success stand for power in the world that has been constructed for me.
What if I can’t control myself, and my shadow self takes over? Only concerned about myself and not caring that I damage others in the process. A voice within me is questioning this – judging me over it.

Instead of pushing this experience away in my s3lf pl3asur3, I decided to embrace it. Let my deepest fears, darkest shadows, and ugliest demons’ surface and take me like they were pleased – knowing that at every moment in time I was still the one in control. In this process where I was able to let stuck energy flow again, I experienced one of my biggest releases so far; a weight fell of my shoulders, energy flowing through my body again.

This bigger concept, is what the work I do is about. Instead of pushing the dark and ugly away, looking it straight in the eyes and experiencing what is behind those faces of the dark. Shining light on them. So, we can bring compassion, find acceptance within and receive clarity around our trauma’s, patterns and shadow sides. This concept is what my coaching is about: meeting our wounded pieces and instead of pushing them away, find acceptance for them. Understand better why they are there in the first place.

Let me know in the comments how you receive this exposing post. You can celebrate my power; you can also let me know that this has no place in the online world and you’re disgusted/triggered by it. All reactions are welcome, and I’m ready to listen!
Thank you for reading!